I discovered my purpose as an instrument of peace  as a small child. My life is filled with a treasure trove of gifts to pull from that provide insight into the suffering of humanity.  My early life was fraught with an unsafe and challenging childhood, where it was safer to sleep in school than in my own bed.  After graduating from nursing school, I continued to pursue my passion for music and writing.  I returned to college at 43 to complete an undergraduate degree, but not in nursing. I followed my dreams and received a B.S. in English with a minor in theater.  I entered the  New York University Tisch School of Arts  Graduate Writing Musical Theater program 1997 when I was 46 obtaining  a M.F.A. in  in 1999.   That's how my purpose as an instrument of peace flourished through my thesis project - The Miracle of Fatima musical.

 

I had three children, John, Elizabeth and Bethany, of whom only Beth remains on earth.   Elizabeth, died shortly after birth, due to a birth defect, however, my beloved John passed at 39, on February 17, 2016. Without a doubt the success of  The Miracle of Fatima is because of him.  When we toured, it was he and his wonderful fiancée Eva Roman, and I that would load an enormous set and all the other equipment into a 16-wheeler truck.  It was John who did the set-up and tear-down. It was John who ran the lights and sound, while Eva was the stage manager and I ran the front of the venue.  We were a three-man crew in the early days and for six months we traveled every weekend without fail to 15 locations. John did all this in spite of dealing with depression and struggling with self-medicating to remove the memories and pain of being abused by a priest as a young teen for many years.  It wasn't until the end of the tour that he shared that horrific news. When he told me the name of his abuser, I went to the man's church and met with him.  He could not understand how I could offer him such forgiveness, and mercy.  My only words to him were "You offer us both the opportunity to express the true nature of God."  John was award $500,000. by the Dioceses, and he donated a significant amount to the development of the musical.   He struggled in and out of facilities to overcome his sense of shame and unworthiness, and after devoting nearly 15 years in service of Our Lady of Fatima, the pain was too much. He took his life with an overdose of opioids.

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I struggled with my faith. It wasn't until the following year that a woman, who traveled the states with the statue of Our Lady of Fatima, sent me a note that she would be in my parish for one day only.  June 14, 2017, John's birthday, I sat in a pew at Saint Mary's and wept as I gazed upon Her face. All I could hear were Her words - "I lost my Son too."  And so, once again, I began planning to produce the show.

 

I share this very personal story with you, to let you know that many times I have said - no more Fatima for good reason.   And yet I am always pulled back in, and here we are now.  I will be seventy-two years old this year.  I continue to teach a few courses each semester and interestingly, I am at the University of Bridgeport, where my musical premiered nearly 25 years ago.  Most of my friends and associates are retired, however, I am in my third act and will continue to serve as I promised, until my last breath.   Lastly, I share this song, She sang to me and I wrote done within minutes. Through You He Lives is their story, and why we must share Her message.  I recorded this when we created the album, and so it is Her gift to you to hear it today.